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It's Times Like These - Geek Turned Athlete

It’s Times Like These

Warning: This is not a very upbeat post. However, I need to get some things off my chest, and it is my blog, and I can write whatever I want on it, right? Right.

I have to admit that the past couple of months have not been easy for me. My husband coming home and us traveling all over the place has been absolutely wonderful, don’t get me wrong. But it seems like my family back home isn’t doing the same. I can’t write about most of these things on such a public forum, but in a more general sense, it seems like every single time they get over something horrific happening, another traumatic event lurking around the corner jumps out at them, and the emotional and physical healing has to begin again. I have never felt more far away from home and helpless to aid my family in their times of need in the past 2 months than in the past 2 and 1/2 years that I have been in Germany.

Then, the events of the past 2 days have stung me to the core and reminded me what life is truly about. They also caused me to be truthful with myself. The truth is: I’m scared out of my mind of losing my husband. Trust me, the fact that I bolded this statement does not do it justice.

I try to forget about this most of the time to save my own sanity, but it is times like these when other men in the same career field (my husband’s career field is very small so we practically know everyone in it) give the ultimate sacrifice that it literally jolts me from my happy state of denial and catapults me back into reality.

I feel for the families and friends of these heros, and yes, they truly are heros. It is times like these when the community gathers around and supports each other. I’m thankful for such a supportive little community we belong to within this career field. You may have noticed one of my tweets dealing with this yesterday.  My heart goes out to the 48th & 58th.  I can’t even fathom what they must be going through right now.  It is also times like these that you can’t help but think, “That could happen to us.”

Life does go on as it always has, however. All I can do is be there to support my husband when he needs me as he has always done for me.

As for my family, the same applies. I can only do what I can do if that makes any sense. I need to stop worrying about what I can’t do. I need stop waking up at night worrying about things that I can’t change. They need to do the same. I will be back in NM soon enough to help my sister with her husband who was recently injured. I will also be there to just listen to them. My family is strong, and I know they will come through this stronger than ever like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

This too, shall pass.



I hope you all understand why I haven’t written much lately.  I haven’t really felt like it.  I tried to get through my google reader yesterday, but soon lost motivation and decided to stare at my husband for a while and thank my lucky stars he is still in my life.

{ 18 comments… add one }
  • claire June 11, 2010, 10:04 am

    Oh lady, thanks for being so honest. It must be so hard sometimes to be married to such a hero in a small career field. You will get through it with some positivity and support. It sounds like it will be a short time until you are with your sister, and I am sure it will be wonderful to be reunited with her!

  • Marisa June 11, 2010, 10:38 am

    Nicole, I’m sorry to hear what happened…my condolences go out to the families. They are in my prayers. Everyday I thank god for the brave men and women that are fighting the fight for our freedom and way of life. It’s really difficult, especially seeing them here at LRMC. Keep positive thoughts and stay strong and supportive for your family.

  • Jessica @ How Sweet June 11, 2010, 12:39 pm

    I feel for you, girl. 🙁 I think you are so strong. I am a worrier at heart, and I worry about multiple things that I can’t control. I can’t even imagine being in your situation. I would be sick with worry 24/7. I adore you!

  • Erica June 11, 2010, 12:41 pm

    I’m so sorry sweetie. As I am friends with a good deal with women whose husbands are in the military….I have heard about their similar struggles. You all have to be so strong all of the time. I’m glad you wrote this post. Hang in there. Let me know if there is anything I can do (email me if you need to vent or chat!)

  • Abby June 11, 2010, 3:33 pm

    There is so much out of our control, which is the most frightening thought ever…and it certainly doesn’t make anything easier. You’re so strong and I know your family is grateful for your support! I don’t understand why some things happen, but just know that I will be praying for you and your family!

  • Kim June 11, 2010, 4:20 pm

    Hugs to you… I don’t have a whole lot to say, except that I worry about losing my hubby, too, and he’s not even in the military. So, in some small way I know how you feel. I’ll keep you in my thoughts, and I hope things get better for you and your family.

  • Miranda @ Mirandasjeans June 11, 2010, 4:52 pm

    I too know what you mean when you talk about trying to forget about the danger. My husband jobs puts him at risk too. And for the most part my way of coping is to be ignorant about what he is out doing, otherwise I would be a mess all the time. It is only when others are hurt or worse that I am brought back to the ralization that Kevin could go to work one day an be seriously hurt or worse.

    I hope that your difficult time passes soon and everything returns to ‘normal’

  • Jacquie June 11, 2010, 6:19 pm

    All I can say is… I love you two (even though I’ve never met the husband) and am sending you all the hugs I can.

  • Lisa June 11, 2010, 7:10 pm

    I can’t image the struggle you all go through. It was hard enough having my cousin in Afghanistan for 2 years. I can’t imagine having a spouse in the military. Take care!!!

  • Pure2raw twins June 11, 2010, 8:26 pm

    Glad you got this off your chest girl! I think we all worry a lot about things 🙂 Hang in there though, you are a strong person and will get through this! Sending you lots of hugs!! 🙂

  • Julie @SavvyEats June 11, 2010, 8:39 pm

    I love you, dear, and am always thinking of you and the safety of your husband!

  • Sana June 11, 2010, 9:33 pm

    You are so amazing and strong. I really hope everything with your family is ok. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Your hubby is a brave man, it is all the special moments that you two have together that makes his job bearable.

    Take care!

  • tasha - the clean eating mama June 11, 2010, 9:51 pm

    Oh sweety, I am so sorry you have been feeling like this! You are very strong and brave, and so is your husband. I have never experienced the Military life, nor do I have anyone close to me that is in the military, but just know that you are supported, loved and appreciated. I hope you start to feel better soon!

  • marit c-l June 12, 2010, 6:27 am

    Hey Nicole-
    It’s never easy, it it? Hang in there – days like the other days are stark reminders of how tough this life can be. Nathaniel was on TIC duty during the incident, and one of the first helos on the scene. Hug your hubby extra hard tonight – and then give him an extra squeeze for me as well 🙂 Hang in there Nicole – for what it’s worth, you’re not alone.

  • Anne P June 13, 2010, 8:19 pm

    xoxo. thinking of you.

  • TorontoGirloutWest June 14, 2010, 8:02 am

    I’ve been praying

  • Leana June 15, 2010, 7:01 am

    Not every post can be upbeat….and this is your blog to to talk about what is important for you. My heart goes out to you and your husband and everyone who serves their country. You are all heroes.

  • Sand Sock Girl June 18, 2010, 2:15 pm

    Oh sorry to hear that. Just keep on praying. Everything will be alright.


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