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Tortilla Flats – Geek Turned Athlete

Tortilla Flats

The original title of this post was going to be “I’ve Lost My A$$” or “Have You Seen My A&&?” but somehow I realized that “Tortilla Flats” would be more appropriate especially since it is a popular joke in my family.

I may be Hispanic, but unfortunately these buns and most of them in my family are not blessed with the JLo bountifulness. If they don’t work out or really work at having a nice butt, all is lost and thus their butts are deemed: Tortilla Flats.

I’m blessed because I usually run a lot, and that seems to keep my booty in check. Recently, since I took a little hiatus from running (or really anything else for that matter) after my Half Ironman, my butt has disappeared. My pants are sagging so much I look like this without meaning to. NOT.SEXY. I miss my butt.

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Except, I don’t wear underwear like this, and I’m not a dude.

My pants are holding on for dear life without a butt, ahem, a ledge to cling on to. I’m not even kidding you. I put clean jeans on in the morning, and by the end of the day, they are practically falling off of me. My puppy de-pantsed me the other day (NOT JOKING) when he was playfully jumping up and biting and caught hold of my jeans and came back down. This is all because I’ve lost my butt and the jeans came right off in the backyard. Thank goodness I’ve got really old neighbors who probably didn’t hear me screaming at my dog in my thong with my jeans around my ankles in our backyard. This actually happened twice. Yes, it did.

The reason for this lack of booty? Stress + No workout schedule = Laziness. I have been stressed with the end of this semester and grad school (I will have to grow up at 27 years old in a few weeks) and have been neglecting to put together a workout schedule for myself to follow. I feel like I’m wandering around with no direction.

You see, I’m the type of person that if I don’t have schedule laid out, I won’t go workout. Or, I will workout, but then I keep thinking that I just worked out, and pretty soon 3 or 4 days has passed without doing anything fitness related. Crazy, huh? Anyway, my workouts have been somewhat scattered, and I really need some structure in my life.

After I graduate, I do plan on putting together a more comprehensive plan for next year, but right now, I just need to have a plan for the next month. Here it is if you are interested. My running mileage is down, and I don’t have any swims or bikes in stone, but at least this is something to get me through one of the most stressful times of my life. Oh, and don’t forget I’m also walking/running my puppy twice a day for 45 minutes each time.

Hopefully, I will be able to get my butt back in the process.

Do you need a fitness plan or can you just workout on a regular basis without a schedule? If you can, I’m jealous!!

{ 15 comments… add one }

  • Erica November 15, 2010, 6:14 am

    I actually lose my butt when I run too much and don’t strength train enough! This happened recently and I was having the same pants problem- so I totally feel for you. As you know, with teaching- I do have a regular plan. I like to make small adjustments when I can just to switch it up. Good luck with all the work!

    Reply
    • Nicole November 15, 2010, 6:53 am

      I think that is the way it is for most people. I don’t know whether it is all the hills I run or trail running or what to builds my butt. For some reason, running just shapes my legs and butt in a way that nothing else does!! I’m sure the strength training that I just started up again will help speed up the process though!!

      Reply
  • Alina @ Duty Free Foodie November 15, 2010, 7:08 am

    Funny post!

    I’ve never thought of flat butts as unattractive – every body type is attractive in its own way.

    I like to have a general fitness plan, but I rely a lot on classes at my two gyms, so I will pick based on what’s available at the time and what I am in the mood for. 1.5 hours of walk/running with the dog would definitely be considered a workout in my books, though.

    Reply
  • Megan @ The Daily Sweat November 15, 2010, 7:12 am

    I like to have a schedule, but if I don’t, I’ll still workout. I like the structure of training for something because I know exactly what workouts need to get done. If there isnt the structure, there is a lot of room for flexibility which isn’t always a good thing for me when working out. I tend to me a slacker. :)

    Reply
    • Nicole November 15, 2010, 7:20 am

      Flexibility with workouts is bad for me! I tend to bend the rules too much when given the chance. 😉

      Reply
  • Heather @ Get Healthy With Heather November 15, 2010, 8:21 am

    You are too funny! Glad you’ve got a plan to keep you on track. I do best with a plan too… Something to keep me accountable always helps.

    Reply
  • Lisa November 15, 2010, 8:53 am

    I lost my a** too! I have the flattest butt now, with sagging pants. UGH! I cannot find jeans that look good because of that. :( Running did that for me. I also lost my boobs.

    I can work out without a training plan. Working out is so ingrained in my schedule now it’s like brushing my teeth.

    Reply
  • Sana November 15, 2010, 8:58 am

    I think I have the ass that you lost. Seriously I looked at myself in the mirror and did not recognize that rear end. Sigh.
    School> workingout

    Reply
    • Nicole November 15, 2010, 10:48 am

      I hear you!!!!!

      Reply
  • lindsay November 15, 2010, 9:30 am

    you sound like me, but I wish I was turning 27 and not aging close to 30 soon, eek! I think its good to take a mental break from training, but off season is hard when you have a passion for racing. I like to stick with fun runs in the winter. They keeps me going. Hope you can de-stress soon and fill out those pants, hehe!

    Reply
  • Melie November 15, 2010, 10:44 am

    Haha! I can give you some of my butt if you want! I think that mine will never go no matter how or how often I train… But I certainly agree with the schedule part. What can I say? Some people thrive in structure :-)

    Reply
    • Nicole November 15, 2010, 10:48 am

      Here, here!! I need structure. I think I crave it. Sad, but true.

      Reply
  • Sara November 15, 2010, 11:44 am

    I really have no booty so I feel ya on all this! But I also can’t work out without some sort of plan in mind. If I don’t have any plan, I just don’t do it!

    Reply
  • Kim (Book Worm Runs) November 15, 2010, 12:05 pm

    I always have to have some sort of schedule/plan, even when I am not training for anything. Every week I sit down and write out what I plan to run or what classes at the gym I plan to take. I need the structure to keep me motivated :)

    Reply
  • Sarah for Real November 16, 2010, 8:24 am

    That puppy of yours is a feisty little bugger! Maybe wear multiple pairs of pants?

    Workout schedules help keep me accountable, but they also stress me out which makes me really start to hate working out. I’m still experimenting. Actually what I think would work the best is for me to retire at the age of 26 so I have plenty of time to fit it in :)

    Reply

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