The original title of this post was going to be “I’ve Lost My A$$” or “Have You Seen My A&&?” but somehow I realized that “Tortilla Flats” would be more appropriate especially since it is a popular joke in my family.
I may be Hispanic, but unfortunately these buns and most of them in my family are not blessed with the JLo bountifulness. If they don’t work out or really work at having a nice butt, all is lost and thus their butts are deemed: Tortilla Flats.
I’m blessed because I usually run a lot, and that seems to keep my booty in check. Recently, since I took a little hiatus from running (or really anything else for that matter) after my Half Ironman, my butt has disappeared. My pants are sagging so much I look like this without meaning to. NOT.SEXY. I miss my butt.
Except, I don’t wear underwear like this, and I’m not a dude.
My pants are holding on for dear life without a butt, ahem, a ledge to cling on to. I’m not even kidding you. I put clean jeans on in the morning, and by the end of the day, they are practically falling off of me. My puppy de-pantsed me the other day (NOT JOKING) when he was playfully jumping up and biting and caught hold of my jeans and came back down. This is all because I’ve lost my butt and the jeans came right off in the backyard. Thank goodness I’ve got really old neighbors who probably didn’t hear me screaming at my dog in my thong with my jeans around my ankles in our backyard. This actually happened twice. Yes, it did.
The reason for this lack of booty? Stress + No workout schedule = Laziness. I have been stressed with the end of this semester and grad school (I will have to grow up at 27 years old in a few weeks) and have been neglecting to put together a workout schedule for myself to follow. I feel like I’m wandering around with no direction.
You see, I’m the type of person that if I don’t have schedule laid out, I won’t go workout. Or, I will workout, but then I keep thinking that I just worked out, and pretty soon 3 or 4 days has passed without doing anything fitness related. Crazy, huh? Anyway, my workouts have been somewhat scattered, and I really need some structure in my life.
After I graduate, I do plan on putting together a more comprehensive plan for next year, but right now, I just need to have a plan for the next month. Here it is if you are interested. My running mileage is down, and I don’t have any swims or bikes in stone, but at least this is something to get me through one of the most stressful times of my life. Oh, and don’t forget I’m also walking/running my puppy twice a day for 45 minutes each time.
Hopefully, I will be able to get my butt back in the process.
Do you need a fitness plan or can you just workout on a regular basis without a schedule? If you can, I’m jealous!!