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Caught With My Pants Down – Geek Turned Athlete

Caught With My Pants Down

I had a completely different post about a Vegetarian Sports Nutrition book to post today, but I felt the need to post about the 4 minutes of sheer awkwardness that I experienced this morning instead especially since I have a really sick sense of humor.

So…here we go…

Background info: I teach spin in a secluded specialized training gym away from the main gym on base. This gym is very specific to 3 squadrons in which my husband is second in charge of one of them. He has maybe 200 people under him. I try to behave myself when I’m in this area of base because, well in military life, the spouse is expected to act a certain way. I won’t get into details or my opinions on this itself, but just know that if you are a spouse of a higher ranking individual, you aren’t supposed to act all wild and crazy in front of people that your husband is the boss of. This includes cussing which I may or may not have a problem with. I don’t really fit the mold of the average military spouse, and this sometimes gets me into trouble. I often say what I am thinking, and I constantly have a foot in my mouth.

Anyway, after I teach my class I usually head to the women’s locker room which no one usually goes into while I’m there except for a couple of girls that I teach in my class. I don’t like driving home wearing soaking wet gym clothes.  So I normally change shorts, sports bras, and shirts before leaving.

I chatted with the two girls from my spin class as they undressed behind a partition before jumping into the shower. This is a REALLY small locker room since there aren’t too many women involved in what my husband does. Let me just preface this by saying that military gyms aren’t the same as regular gyms. People don’t walk around naked while they are getting ready like in civilian gyms. Would you want to be naked in front of YOUR BOSS?

I have no shame in normal nonmilitary gyms because:

a) I just moved from Germany, and there are naked people EVERYWHERE there.

b) I’m a pretty free spirit, and I like being naked (we are being honest here, right?).

c) I’m not ashamed of my body, well, most of the time (I’m a woman, and we all have our bloated days!).

However, in military gyms, especially when this particular gym is specific to only the people that my husband works with, I try to keep my clothes on in the locker room.

On this particular morning, I thought to myself as I was chatting with the two girls while they were in the shower:

I’m not going to change in the stall. I’m going to change where my bag is and there is a bench in the locker room. Nobody EVER walks in here. Famous last words, eh?

Completely naked except for my shoes, struggling to get my pants on with one leg halfway in, a woman enters the locker room staring directly at me. I smiled nervously, quietly cursing the fact that I was too lazy to take my freaking shoes off that kept getting stuck in my pants preventing me from pulling them up fast enough. I hopped over to the other side of the room because I thought that maybe I was in her way. There are two sinks with two small stalls in there, so I didn’t have to hop far.

I have one leg in my pants successfully when she says:

Do I know you? Are you new? I just got back from being deployed.

Here is a tip if you want to make friends in the locker room: PLEASE DO NOT TRY TALKING TO A NAKED PERSON. IT IS AWKWARD!!

Um no, I teach spin here. 7:30-8:30am. haha (way nervous laugh). Where do you work?

At this point, I’m mortified and STILL naked except for one leg. I’m trying so hard to put my pants on, that I don’t care whether they rip or not. They were the double lined ones so they are not that easy to get into.

Oh, I work at (my husband’s squadron). And she is still staring at me particularly my boobs. WTF?!!! Doesn’t she know locker room etiquette? You are not supposed to stare at the goods while having a conversation.

Lovely, she has seen my lady bits, and my husband is her boss AND I don’t even know her. Can you say AWKWARD?!

Anyway, I tried to end the conversation as politely as I could while attempting to finish putting some clothes on.

She left the locker room as soon as I dressed, and quite frankly, I don’t even know why she was in there since she didn’t do anything but stare and talk to me. I just started laughing to myself because I felt kind of violated, and I was in a locker room. People are supposed to be naked. This stuff happens to me ALL the time. It was my fault. I probably should have changed in the bathroom stall, and you can bet I will be in there from now on! haha

Do you have any awkward locker room stories?

{ 22 comments… add one }

  • Sarah for Real December 15, 2010, 11:18 am

    Lol awesome. I guess she clearly had no trouble with nudity either!

    There are two different locations for my gym. I never go to the one downtown because the day-use lockers are directly at the very open entryway area and the towels they provide are teeny tiny. Meaning, after a shower I’d have to flash my naked booty to anyone and everyone who happens to enter the locker room while I’m fishing around in the locker. I think they do this on purpose so I’ll just pay for a yearly locker.

  • Lisa December 15, 2010, 11:18 am

    HAHAHA!! That is soooo funny!!

    I have a similar story…I used to run at lunch time and then shower in the locker room in my building. I usually don’t get naked in front of people there because they are coworkers but a few times people have walked in. Awkward!!

  • Alina @ Duty Free Foodie December 15, 2010, 11:21 am

    That sounds super awkward – I hate being checked out when I am naked in the locker room. I just joined the work gym, and while I have gotten used to being naked in the normal gym, I just don’t want to be naked in front of coworkers (even though other people are fine being naked in that locker room). I have had a couple of awkward naked moments in that locker room anyway – I think I am just going to have to get over the “no nudity in the workplace” rule, since I am failing at it so badly.

  • Erica December 15, 2010, 12:18 pm

    hahahhaha…umm what is up with that lady? I went to a gym once where this set of ladies would always sit around 3/4 named and have like full on conversations. I never understood it, but always thought- good for them for being that confident!

  • Suzanne December 15, 2010, 1:23 pm

    I joined a Y when I was working at a very small (6 people) design company. I didn’t realize at the time that my boss also worked out there. It was one town over from our office, but on the way to work for me. One morning after a workout I was hitting the showers and there was my boss! Absolutely stark naked in the change room. I looked away but she flagged me down and chatted animatedly while me munch on her post workout granola bar. Talk about awkward.

    • Nicole December 15, 2010, 1:25 pm

      haha. AWKWARD! (as said like in The Hills). I hope that never happens to me. 😉

  • Jess December 15, 2010, 2:20 pm

    What a weirdo!! Especially since the whole naked thing doesn’t seem to be as regular an occurrence there as in a typical gym setting. You must’ve been cursing in your head with your damn shoes on, preventing those pants from getting on faster! LOL

  • lindsay December 15, 2010, 2:20 pm

    haha, that is awkward! And yes, I have totally been there. I got caught peeing in the woods while making a little “pit stop” on my run. I knew the person too, eek!

    • Nicole December 15, 2010, 3:00 pm

      OMG, I would have died. I am seriously paranoid whenever I go in the woods on a trail run!

  • Lisa December 15, 2010, 3:57 pm

    haha oh my – this is TOTALLY a situation I could see myself getting caught in

  • Melie December 15, 2010, 11:13 pm

    That IS awkward! But it is kind of equally awkward if a completely naked lady starts a conversation with you (double points if you are also trying to get dressed/undressed). Hmm, can’t you wait until we are at least half dressed before you start chit-chatting about the weather?

  • Amanda December 16, 2010, 7:42 am

    What a funny story!!

    Mine dates back to high school, and involves my current boyfriend (we have been together 7 years but have known each other about 9). He was the new kid in his school at the town next to mine and my girls basketball team was traveling over there for a basketball game. We went to do our warm ups on the court and my boyfriend (we weren’t together at the time, we had just barely met each other) was shooting around. He went into his locker room and we assumed he just grabbed his bag and left. As the visiting team, we had to use the boys locker room. So we went in, got ready, my coach came in and we had our pre-game chat, we chatted, we got riled up, etc. I heard some noises, but didn’t think anything of it. A few days later, I found out that my boyfriend/friend/lone boy in the locker room was standing on the toilet seat in a closed stall the ENTIRE time. He was still in his towel from taking a shower, too nervous to try to escape. So this is more HIS embarrassing story, but we still talk about it today.

  • Ryan December 16, 2010, 9:27 am

    How ironic that I’m naked RIGHT NOW! Ha! I too am a military wife…errr… Commander’s wife…spouse…whatever the PC verbiage for me is. We’ve had the talk about someone in the family (namely me) living up to the expectations of my role???? What role? I didn’t join the military so forget trying to control me :-) So now I am the classroom mommy and I make all of the desserts for the departmental parties and deployed staff and I’m EXPECTED (wtf) to do some departmental volunteering. I should show up naked… but I’m pretty ripped so that might work against not being invited back 😉

    Sorry for blabbing on… I just got back from running and I don’t want to get up just yet so,

    You are right with military gyms and not walking around naked. My week in MN at the club was more like a week in a gay bath house with fitness equipment. I should have known when the sign at the door read, “no boys under 16 allowed” that there was a possibility for some awkwardness. Just like you getting your boobs stared at I was getting my …well… ok… all eyes were waiting for me to change into my jammers so they could get a peek at “me!” Coming out of the pool I felt like Bo Derek running down the beach in her little swimsuit. I’ve never felt like I was the center of so many fantasies at one time… too bad they were all chubby men!

  • Cynthia December 16, 2010, 12:29 pm

    That is so crazy! Who talks to a person while they are naked in a locker room?? I used to belong to a gym and I actually felt uncomfortable changing in front of people. Maybe it was because I was self-conscious about my body or maybe I was self-conscious about being naked. Who knows?

  • heidi @ runaroundaroo December 16, 2010, 1:00 pm

    I am reading this at work and laughing out loud! Hilarious!
    Although I do feel a bit sorry for you!

    It took me a while to get used to being completely comfortable being naked in the locker room at the gym but I’m completely okay with it now – although if I did run into someone I work with it would be awkward sqwakward!

  • Jessica @ Dairy Free Betty December 17, 2010, 10:03 am

    Oh man, You are awesome for writing this, and I would have felt really ackward too, i’m not really a naked kinda person…. Thanks for the chuckle though 😉

  • Bill December 17, 2010, 10:20 am

    From a guy’s POV, she was rude. My Goddess agrees.

    Of course, being the military member in the family, I’m used to it. But there are guys in the gym here that I do not work with that are VERY comfortable (I’m not uncomfortable by any stretch), but these guys will stand there talking to someone, one leg up on a bench, no towel, talking to someone else. I guess we’re supposed to be impressed or something.

    The funny thing is to watch the other guys face, seeing how uncomfortable he is, but too proud to step back or walk away.

  • Katherine December 18, 2010, 3:04 pm

    Hi! I found your blog from the Cotter Crunch blog. I loved the post- thanks for being honest and hilarious.
    I haven’t been caught naked in the gym yet, but once I was working out at home in just my undies and sports bras when my brother-in-law walked in….eek. I also don’t understand that woman’s lack of gym etiquette. I am comfortable in my own skin, but I’m not so sure I want other people to be too comfortable around it!

  • Sana December 19, 2010, 12:20 pm

    I stopped going to locker rooms when I saw a lady blow drying her “hooha”

  • Toronto Girl West December 21, 2010, 3:40 pm

    AHAHAHHA – honestly this cracked me up! I fortunately don’t have any similar stories to share. But I would have died if I were you!

  • stephanie December 22, 2010, 3:40 pm

    So weird. Guess I have been here too long: co-ed naked saunas, the works. can’t remeber the last time I tried to cover up anythign anywhere. Kind of a sad social situation when you think about it :(.

    • Nicole December 22, 2010, 3:43 pm

      haha. I think I scared my waxer when I came back to the states when I just ripped off my pants and jumped on the table in front of her. She was appalled. Military gyms are a completely different story though. Don’t you remember? :)


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