So, I totally meant to have this post ready by last night, but I passed out on the couch right after dinner with Kai only to wake up in a pool of my own drool an hour later. It was time to go to bed.
I swapped my usual run with my running team on Saturday with a run with my triathlon team on Sunday this weekend. I was sick for the kick-off party and needed to get the deets on the upcoming training for the triathlon season.
It started off well, well…not really. I was late because I got lost (driving around in a huge circle a few times), but ended up having enough time to throw my purse in the coach’s house, take pictures with everyone without introducing myself, and start running. I didn’t know anyone except for the coach and his wife. There were about 16(?) people who started out on the run.
A lot of the people in the group started off walking. This was really different from my running team. I didn’t feel like walking so I ran up front and fell behind 4 hardcore guys in the very front that also included the coach. The first mile was great, but then my pb and jelly english muffin that I had eaten just 45 minutes prior was starting to make its way back out of my stomach. I wish I was one of those people who can eat and run right after. I wish I was also one of those people who don’t need to eat before a run. I’m not either of those, and my stomach is VERY sensitive. I have to wait at least an hour after eating to run otherwise I puke.
Which is what happened next. I’m just kidding. But I was lucky I didn’t since it has happened before. I stayed and chatted with the boys for a couple of miles, then decided it was probably a good idea to slow down just a tad before I actually did puke. Plus, my goal was to run 9 miles, and I didn’t think I could make it running at that pace. We said our goodbyes, and I decreased my pace just a tad. I didn’t see anyone behind me. I didn’t bring my ipod because I was expecting to be talking to someone during the run.
Well, this sucks. I have to run 9 miles with no music nor people to talk to. I guess it is good race practice, right? Right. 😉
Alone on a trail with just me, my thoughts, and my breath. It was actually nice. I had lots of time to work through some of my frustrations going on in my life.
Let’s be honest here. I’ve been feeling inadequate lately with the whole job search thing. It has been 2 1/2 months since I have graduated with my masters, and I still don’t have a job let alone any interviews. And no, I don’t count my spin instructor job. The job opportunities around Spokane have been very minimal in my career field. Without going into detail about my fervent job searching and massive resume/letter of interest submitting, just know that I have worked very hard at this. In fact, I have never worked this hard for a job in my life and to not even yield an interview? Ack. It kills me. Granted most of the companies that I have applied for have had no positions available, but still. It is frustrating. I’m trying to be positive but I feel just a little beat down. And bored. And like a loser. And like a slacker who isn’t contributing financially to my household. And like I’m not using my skills/education. And, and, and, and the list goes on.
I know that I am very lucky for everyone/everything I have in my life. The hubs and I are very fortunate that I don’t need to get a job just to make ends meet. Yes, we would love to do some extra stuff with the house and travel more, but we aren’t struggling by any means. The hubs also doesn’t hound me about what I do all day when he is at work. He knows I’m working hard to find a job. Again, it is just frustrating because I so want to work in my career field!!
Getting back to the run, all these negative thoughts were swirling through my head. My pace picked up a little which in turn sped up my breathing. Tears started coming down my cheeks. I ran faster. All of the sudden, I was sobbing taking huge breaths. This lasted a mile. As quickly as it started, my little cry was done. I reminded myself that the networking meeting I had last week with the president of a company here in Spokane was a good thing, and her tips and contacts that she provided were very helpful and hopefully fruitful in the end. I need to stop trying to be the “overachiever” all the time. I set these unachievable expectations for myself that are not based on anything but unrealistic crazy notions. The unrealistic goal: get a job in a month. Stupid, huh? I need to keep working hard and be patient.
Since I ran by myself on a trail, nobody saw my little “frustration release,” and I arrived at the coach’s house for pancakes feeling like a new optimistic woman. That is why I love running so much. It is like a FREE therapy session.
Back at the house, I picked up my new year triathlon kit containing a long sleeve moisture wicking shirt, cycling jersey, MAX magazine, Team Blaze stickers/fake tattoos, another water bottle…
And transition towel which I discovered out in the backyard after I took the pic above. Apparently, Kai thought it was his.
It also included a list of all the races in the area for the next few months!!
Why, yes I do!
Hopefully, I’m running with the Swifts tonight (fighting the beginnings of a migraine right now) for a speed workout. The ultimate therapy session!!
I’ll leave you will some pics of Kai and I at the dog park earlier today.
He was tired afterwards!! I think Kai got out some pent up energy from having to wait to get his neutering stitches out!!
Do you ever use running (or any other type of workout) as your therapy?