So, you may have noticed that the frequency of my posting has significantly been reduced for the past year. My work schedule had A LOT to do with that. Without going into too much detail, the job that I had here in Spokane was not only a massive time consuming entity, but a total mental stressor. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world, and no matter how many times I tried to tell myself that I enjoyed my job, I didn’t. Often times I would go home after work and cry. I felt guilty that I felt this way especially since I just completed my masters degree in that career field only a year and a half ago. Something just felt missing. I wasn’t fulfilled. I began to realize that I’m not one of those people who can work a job and not get something emotionally from it. I was not happy at all. I couldn’t share this on the blog since I was still working there!
When my husband received orders to San Antonio a few months ago, it really got me thinking. Did I want to attempt to start at the bottom of the totem pole AGAIN in the same career field (once in Tucson and once in Spokane), or did I want to change careers to something that was more conducive to moving around so much AND emotionally satisfying? My husband’s AF career is what moves us around, and technically he had his career before he met me. Plus, I kinda like visiting new places all the time.
Then, it hit me. For the majority of my life, I have wanted to be a doctor. I changed my major a few times in college trying to figure out what I wanted. It is funny how I’m kinda going full circle back to my first major doing the premed route. However, I don’t want to work 60 hour work weeks. I’ve done it, and I honestly, I want to enjoy my life spending time with my family and enjoying my hobbies while having a fulfilling career. That’s why I’ve decided to apply for Physician Assistant school.
For the last 2 1/2 months I have been attending EMT school to gain clinical experience for PA school. So, between working a crazy amount of hours at work up until a month ago, going to EMT school, trying to do the absolute minimum for my Ironman training, home renovation hell (did I mention that we redid our entire basement including new flooring, electrical, walls, a bathroom, etc.), trying to get our house ready to rent in Spokane, finding a house to rent in San Antonio, packing and moving my husband to San Antonio, blogging was not a priority at all.
My last day at my job was about a month ago, and let me tell ya, I felt like an elephant had been lifted off my back driving home from work on my last day. I learned a lot from that job, don’t get me wrong. I learned that I should never sacrifice my self worth in any job that I have. I also learned that I should speak up if what was promised to me during the interview was drastically different than than what actually happened once I started working at a job. Most of all, if I’m crying practically every night for the first month, let alone the entire year that I work at a place, I need to leave. It is not the right job for me. I deserve to be happy, and so does my husband. He knew I was unhappy, and although he tried and tried, I was the only one who could fix that.
So, the plan is: finish up EMT school and home renovations while continuing to train for Ironman Lake Placid in Spokane for the next few weeks. I am still looking to shadow a PA or two while I’m here. Then, drive down to meet the hubs in San Antonio the beginning of July. He left a few weeks ago. Although these long stretches of time without each other are normal, they are still hard! I miss him along with my dogs so much! Once in San Antonio, look for ER Tech jobs to gain experience for PA school, take only one semester of prereqs for PA school and apply! I may not get in this year since I don’t have a lot of experience in the career field and a lot of schools require that you are done with your prereqs before this upcoming Fall semester, but I’m prepared for that.
I am nervous for this drastic career change (environmental science/engineering to premed!), but it seems like every person that I have talked to in the medical field LOVES what they do. This feels SO right like this was something that I was meant to do with my life. I have always wanted to help people and although I was still doing it sort of indirectly with environmental science, I have discovered that I need a more direct approach. Things worth having in life are not supposed to be easy, and although I took a 9 year detour, I’m back on track.
To my readers, thank you for sticking by me this year. I know my posts have not been as personal only because I didn’t want to be a “debbie downer” ALL the time. I feel like a completely different person since I had this epiphany about my life and career. This is what I was meant to do!!!
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to cut off a good majority of my hair to signify this change in my life. Here are the pics just in case you missed them on twitter.
I wrote this post because I don’t think it is okay to just sit there and have a lackluster life. If you don’t like something, change it!! Life is simply TOO short!! I’m hoping I can inspire some of you to make that change you have been thinking about even though you are scared to do it!
Have you been thinking about making a change in your life that is scary as hell? Are you happy in your career? If you are happy, how did you get on that right path?
I’ve got a gnarly Boise 70.3 Race Recap coming up! It was the most terrifying race that I have ever done. I’m not kidding.